Who can believe that we are already in April? I am not going to lie, life is passing by so quickly that sometimes when I sit down to draft these posts, I feel slightly overwhelmed that another month has already gone. There was a time in my life when I would be desperate for the end of the month, mainly for payday to roll around, and while that still has its appeal, I now find myself wishing the days were longer so I can squeeze more time out of them, ideally with my family.
Other than that, March was a lovely month. We had lots of time together as a family, the weather was just about mild enough to spend more time outside, and overall, it just felt calm, which I am learning is something to really appreciate.
THE BEAUTY BREAKDOWN
For a while now, I have been saying that I am incredibly happy with my makeup, how it applies and how my skin looks throughout the day. Because of that, I have no real desire to change things too much. I truly believe that when you get to a point where everything is working, you should leave it alone and not go looking for problems that do not exist.
What I have been playing around with recently, though, is shade. Over the years, my foundation and concealer have definitely become a little too light for my natural skin tone. This is quite the contrast to my earlier years, where I was, quite confidently, walking around with a face the colour of a tangerine and thinking I looked incredible. Looking back at photos now is a humbling experience.
I do still need to work on my bronzer as sometimes it can lean a little too dark and not quite complement my undertones. However, I am trying not to rush out and buy new products when I already have perfectly good ones. Instead, I am slowly adjusting things as they run out, looking for shades that suit me better rather than overhauling everything at once.
One product I do want to give a spotlight to this month is the Rhode Pocket Blush in Toasted Teddy. When this first launched, I was very close to buying it immediately because I knew it would suit me. However, I had put myself on a makeup ban due to the sheer amount of products I already own. Having finally added it to my rotation this past month, I can confidently say I regret not picking it up sooner. It applies beautifully, sits well throughout the day and actually lasts. Rarely, I can still see my blush when I take my makeup off in the evening, but somehow this one manages it.
THE FAMILY UPDATES
I know that every month I spend a good portion of these posts talking about how much I adore my child, and that is not going to change any time soon. As he approaches 20 months old, I feel like we are really starting to see his personality come through. He is so much fun, makes me laugh constantly, and even though getting him to eat can feel like a daily battle, I am genuinely loving every minute of it.
Someone new started at my workplace recently, and as we were chatting, we realised we both have sons only a month apart. She very honestly launched into how tired she was, the tantrums, the chaos and everything in between. While I could absolutely relate to parts of what she was saying, it made me realise that I look at it slightly differently.
Every moment with my son feels fleeting. I cannot help but think that one day he will be older, independent, and I will miss these days where he runs up to me for a cuddle without hesitation. It has completely shifted how I see even the more challenging moments.
This past month we also went to Centre Parcs, which is not somewhere I ever imagined my husband and I choosing before having a child. Yet there we were, in the Lake District, cycling through forests, splashing in puddles and swimming every single day. He absolutely loved it, and while I would not have said it was my usual choice, I would normally opt for a glass of something cold in Florence, seeing his excitement completely changed the experience for me. It has definitely made me rethink how we approach holidays going forward.
THE FASHION UPDATE
For a long time, I have said that I need to be better with money and not constantly invest in high-end pieces, and I finally feel like I am making progress with that. There are definitely gaps in my wardrobe after losing weight over the past few years, and as we move into new seasons, I am noticing where things are missing.
Sometimes it is something as simple as a black long-sleeve top for work or a good pair of blue straight-leg jeans. As I come across these gaps, I am trying to fill them in a more mindful way, adding pieces slowly as I actually need them rather than buying impulsively.
That being said, I did make one exception this month. A beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo heels, black lace with a gold toe cap, which quite frankly felt like they were made for me. As with any higher-end purchase, I screenshotted them, added them to my wish list and tried to forget about them. That did not work, and that is how I have ended up owning them.
Another item I have my eye on is a Miu Miu bag. It is not a brand I have historically gravitated towards, but recently something has shifted. A couple of years ago they released a rainbow knitted bag that I have loved ever since. I always talked myself out of it in favour of something more practical or neutral, but after being more conservative with my spending lately, I have decided it might finally be time.
THE NOVEL PROGRESS
I do not want to jinx anything, but things are going well. I have one manuscript that is pretty much ready, and it is now just a case of building the courage to actually do something with it.
At the same time, my mind has been completely taken over by a new idea. This is usually how it happens, a main concept or hook comes into my head and then I spend time figuring out whether it has the potential to become a full story. With this one, I knew almost instantly that it did.
What I am very conscious of, though, is not letting this new idea become a distraction. It would be very easy to use it as an excuse to delay releasing the manuscript I have already finished. I know a lot of that hesitation comes from nerves, and I need to make sure I am not hiding behind new ideas instead of actually moving forward.
THE CAREER UPDATE
I have to say, now that I have been back at work for approximately a year after my maternity leave, I have never felt more confident or more settled in a role. My workplace has gone through a huge amount of change. It was once a privately owned company, then moved into private equity, and has since been acquired again, which has meant constant shifts in team structure, processes and ways of working.
For a while, it felt like we were all finding our feet, learning how each other works and adapting to what felt like ongoing change. Now, I feel like I am finally through that initial phase. It is less about learning the environment and more about getting properly stuck into the work I should be doing as a senior member of the team.
Even though the workload is vast, I genuinely enjoy it. I like being busy, I like having responsibility, and I like feeling like I am contributing something meaningful. If I am going to dedicate a significant portion of my week to something, I want to feel good about it, and right now, I really do.
THE HOME RENOVATIONS
This past month, when it comes to the house, I have made a conscious decision to stop getting frustrated with myself for not achieving everything I want to. Naturally, and very much thanks to my tendency to want everything just so, I have a long list of things I want to do and where I want the house to get to.
However, I am also fully aware that with everything else I am juggling, these big renovation projects are not going to happen overnight, no matter how much I would like them to.
Instead, I have set myself a much more manageable approach. Each week, I pick off a few smaller tasks. That might be touching up chipped paint, fixing a cupboard door, replacing lightbulbs that have been out for far too long. The smaller jobs that are easy to overlook but actually make a noticeable difference to how the house feels.
A couple of months ago, I was on a work trip and the CEO said something that really stuck with me. Instead of waiting for everything to be perfect, just do the ten percent. Stop waiting for ideal conditions and just start. That is exactly what I am trying to apply here, and honestly, it feels far more achievable.
THE MUSIC REPORT
As we move into the warmer months, I can feel my music taste shifting. Throughout winter, it was very much slower, moodier playlists, something you could describe as slightly brooding. Now, without even realising it, I have transitioned into something that feels a lot more like Ibiza.
There is something about getting in the car after a long day, putting your sunglasses on, rolling the windows down and turning the music up that completely changes your mood. Even if nothing else has gone to plan, that moment alone can reset everything.I cannot even pinpoint a specific artist or song right now, it is more about the feeling. And as we head further into summer, I can already tell that this is only going to continue.
THE MENTAL HEALTH REPORT
I am, once again, very pleased to say that my mental health is in a really good place. There was a moment earlier this month where I was speaking to someone who knows my past struggles, and as I was describing how I used to feel, it genuinely felt like I was talking about a completely different version of myself.
There was a time when things felt very up and down, where I would go into a new week not knowing how I was going to feel or how I would cope. That uncertainty was exhausting. Now, things feel far more grounded. And I will say, for me, having a child has played a huge role in that. The things that used to take up space in my mind, the things that would spiral and grow into something much bigger, simply do not hold the same weight anymore.
As long as my family is happy and healthy, everything else feels far less significant. It has completely shifted my perspective in a way I do not think anything else could have.
THE SOCIAL UPDATE
One thing that has become increasingly clear is that I probably need more friends in my life. Not because I do not love the ones I have, I really do, but because life has become very full, and coordinating time together is not always easy.
My friends and I all have children, we all work full-time, and trying to find dates that work for everyone feels like a logistical puzzle. And even when we do manage to plan something, there is always something, a poorly child, family commitments, or just general life getting in the way.
All of which is completely understandable. But when your circle is quite small, it does make it harder when you suddenly feel like you want to go out, let your hair down and have a proper laugh. Which then leads me to the question I keep coming back to, how exactly do you make friends in your thirties? Because I genuinely do not know.
THE RECENT READS
I finally did it. I read the book that everyone has been recommending to me since I finished A Court of Thorns and Roses. Yes, I am talking about Fourth Wing.
The main reason I had been putting it off is that, while I loved ACOTAR, I do tend to lean more towards lighter, slightly more predictable romance. Generally, I like something easy, something with a happy ending, ideally followed by marriage and babies, because clearly I enjoy a full narrative arc.
I also knew that Fourth Wing is part of an unfinished series, and I had already seen enough spoilers online to know that there are some serious cliffhangers. I was not entirely convinced I was emotionally prepared for that. However, I gave in, I read it, and I loved it. Completely. And yes, I am now fully invested and, like everyone else, slightly frustrated that I have to wait for what comes next.
OTHER RAMBLES
The final thing I wanted to mention is that as I write this, I have just come home from the hospital after having my pre-operative assessment for gallbladder removal. For a while, I had pushed this to the back of my mind. Partly because I have been feeling completely fine since my ERCP procedure, and partly because the NHS app suggested I could be waiting up to a year for surgery.
However, going in for the pre-op made everything feel very real, very quickly. It has brought up the question of whether I actually need to go ahead with the procedure if I am currently feeling well.
I am hoping to have more clarity over the next few weeks, but ultimately, I will follow whatever the doctors advise. For now, I am just trying not to overthink it too much, which, if you know me, is easier said than done.
